TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
