Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
