We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
