It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
