Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
