Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I look better un-naked...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
