This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
