so explain again why im purple
no
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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