I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
