Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am naked and annoyed.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
