i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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