Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
