i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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