I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
