sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
