just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
