i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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