I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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