thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
