...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
