it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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