I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
