just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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