I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
