Ambien. No doubt about it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
