This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
