Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
