you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
