I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
