Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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