She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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