your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
