Sponge bath it is.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
