watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
