I murdered the dance floor call the cops
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
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