i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
