Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
