The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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