Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
