I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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