We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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