shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
