Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
