these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
