I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
