i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
