1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
