I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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