Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
