Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
