I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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